I’m not exactly sure what to do or what I wish to do. I have a friend that lives in PA who I have known for a year we met on livejournal and have yet to meet, but have such a connection I cannot describe it for anyone if I tried… lately…. this friendship has been inconsistant… we used to talk everyday and I dont mean to be insensitive because I know that she is going through stuff and is in college like I am and has a crazyy life but…. come on. When we first started talking her gf at the time just broke up with her and it was very hard for her… i was there for her everyday and I helped her through it… now that thats all over I feel like she thinks “oh well i’ll talk to her every 2 weeks for like 5 minutes its fineee” I was there for her…. I put soooo much effort into it and now she is nott doing the same. Why do I always invest so much? I try so damn hard? too hard… I put in too much effort and care too damn much! She called me at 330am and naturally I did not pick up because my phone is alwaysss on silent when I am sleeping. Why would she call me at 330 am? No voicemail, of course. She is on twitter alll theee timeee and talking to everyone on there, but yet she can’t sign onto aim or call or text me and talk to me right? She’s too “busy” Fuck you. You’re not busy. You just are slowly pulling away from me when I have done absolutely nothinggg wrong. I really don’t understand it and I am thinking of just letting go. I’m not sure. All I do know is that I am soooo sick and tired of being the one who always cares moree, puts in moreee effort. Is it even worth it? I’m starting to believe its not worth it anymore to bother with ppl where I have to put in all the effort. It’s a two way street you know. Why do I have always have to walk the whole way? Why can’t you meet me half way?
